Love, Friendship, and General Quirkiness
by 0WolfMoon0
Summary: The Disney Character Challenge from the Harry Potter Fanfiction Challenges Forum There are three defining characteristics of a witch or wizard; they love without wanting in return, they create friendships know to last a century, and they have more quirks than a Kindergarten classroom. Rated T because my muses can get freaky sometimes
1. Pocahontas

The Disney Character Challenge from the Harry Potter Fanfiction Challenges Forum

**A/N This is a series of unrelated oneshots, based off various prompts that are determined by the name of the character involved. There will be at least 20 chapters to this, pretty exciting! Without further ado, the first of my stories! This one is based off the character of Pocahontas, and unlikely friends from different countries.**

Number one: The Ever Unlikely Duo of the Swan and the Scorpion

She should have been beaming, radiant in her wedding gown that morning. Should have been, the key word. But there was nothing Fleur wouldn't give to get her bridesmaids to get their acts together and help her with _her _dress.

"Zis is what I get for asking ze Veela side of ze family to be my bridesmaids," the bride grumbled to herself. "Ze only ones doing any lick of good are Maman and Gabrielle!" It was lucky that no one had heard her laments, as her cousins would not have been happy to hear them. Though it was true that only her mother was being helpful, it would not be wise to make veelas angry. Gabrielle was off escorting Bill's ghastly aunt to the chamber, for the woman had requested a guide, while Maman was pinning the final touches to Fleur's simple yet elegant gown.

Still grumbling about her vain bridesmaids, Fleur heard a knock at the door to Bill's room-turned-bridal-chamber. Maman looked at her sternly. "Do not move a muscle, young lady. Simply a few more pins," she instructed the bride.

Fleur huffed, and called out her cousin, "Antoinette, be a dear and see who is at ze door." To Fleur's immense displeasure, her cousin rolled her eyes and simply opened the door. The bride would have marched over to slam it, if she hadn't been stuck by a pin at that moment. She let out a huff of air.

"Zere, all done," said Maman with a satisfied air about her. "You may move about now, mon chere." Fleur thanked her mother with a warm hug, momentarily forgetting about her haughty cousins and the visitor at the door, whom she had yet to acknowledge. Her mother held her out at arms' length, assessing her handiwork. The woman let out a large smile. "As beautiful as a swan, ze most majestic of ze birds!" Fleur blushed and smiled in return.

Her visitor let out a polite, small cough, re-alerting the bride of his presence. 'Oh dear,' she thought. 'If zat is Bill, Maman will 'ave a fit.' But seeing as her mother was not throwing a conniption fit over the taboo of groom seeing bride the day of the wedding, she assumed it wasn't her soon-to-be-husband.

Turning to view her visitor, Fleur's smile grew a little wider. As her dear friend approached her, she held out her hand. The man took it gingerly and kissed the top. "It has been too long, my friend," said Viktor Krum.

Fleur had developed a friendship with the man after the triwizard tournament fiasco. Viktor had sent her a large bouquet of flowers in means of apologizing for his actions in the maze, while under the imperius spell. The two swapped owls almost weekly, Viktor filling the role of male best friend for the young woman. She couldn't have been happier to see him.

It didn't take long before her cousins took note of the famous wizard in the bridal chamber. Suddenly, they were all a titter, making large shows of helping Fleur with her hair, nails, and accessories. Fleur rolled her eyes at them, a gesture Viktor did not miss. He cracked a small grin.

"It is so good to see you again, Viktor," the bride said with a smile. "'Ow do you do?"

"Life has been better, though I cannot complain when the reign of You-Know-Who has not spread to Romania," he replied simply. The veela around him made large shows of agreeing that life on the mainland was much easier, and how "poor Fleur" was having to fend for herself here. Fleur swore that sometimes her family forgot that she was a formidable witch who held her own in the triwizard tournament.

"You will 'ave to catch up with Viktor some other time, mon chere," Maman interrupted. "You are not finished getting ready for the big day." Fleur nodded, though the smile remained on her face. Her friend kept the bad vibes away, it seemed.

"Viktor, do stay," she commanded with an air only a bride-to-be can hold. The man, who was almost halfway out the door, turned back around. With her eyes, Fleur conveyed that she needed him there to keep herself from either dying of boredom or having no help with her preparation.

Maman made a _tsk _sound but did not protest, so Viktor took a seat on a nearby chair. The two unlikely friends chatted amiably for a while, until a rude interruption in the form of a very grumpy, very old woman.

"A man should not be in the bridal chamber, young lady," Bill's great aunt Muriel chided. "Honestly, you young ladies have no sense of propriety." Gabrielle quickly pulled up a chair for the woman, mouthing 'old hag' at her sister.

Fleur could hardly suppress a giggle, and from the look on Viktor's face he had not missed the slight altercation from the bride's younger sister. The old woman, however, was not finished talking.

"Looks to me like Weasley men's taste in women is growing different from when Molly was growing up. Well, no matter. Girlie!" the woman beckoned Gabrielle in a way that was rather brutish. The young woman visibly suppressed a groan. Fleur noticed that, having been distracted, her bridesmaids were busy draping themselves over Viktor. She cocked an eyebrow at him, but he just shrugged. He was evidently used to it, being an international quiddich star and all.

"Alright, girlie, take this box and give it to the bride," the old hag continued. She then addressed Fleur directly. "Now, mind you, this article is only on loan, as it is goblin made and highly expensive. Do your best to not tarnish it."

Gabrielle opened the box and inside was the loveliest tiara that Fleur had ever laid eyes on. Apparently, the effect was the same on her cousins. They stopped their swooning over the quiddich player and instead swooned over the tiara. Viktor, the only one apparently not mesmerized by the accessory, strode over and took it out of the box.

"Watch your hands, young man," Muriel said harshly. "And careful not to get your greasy fingerprints all over it."

Viktor, obviously containing more guts than most, turned to the woman. "Your words do not scathe me," he said. "For I walk with armour against your malice."

"Armour of a scorpion, bringing pain to others and feeling none yourself," the woman quipped haughtily. "Tell me, how many girls have you broken the hearts of this year alone? Rita Skeeter has your number, young man."

Rolling his eyes, Viktor turned his attention to the bride-to-be and one of his closest friends. "May I have the honours?" he asked sincerely. Fleur nodded and stepped down from the dress fitting platform. One of her closest friends situated the tiara in her straight, platinum hair and stepped back.

The girls around Fleur swooned at the gesture, while Muriel simply made a _hmph _sound, muttering something about impropriety under her breath. When she hopped up, Maman walked over to her, thanking her profusely. Fleur looked and felt like a princess.

"Soeur, you look zimply stunning!" cried Gabrielle, hugging Fleur gently so as to not disturb her dress or hair. Fleur beamed at her sister. She finally looked the part of the glowing bride.

"Would one of you girls be so kind as to show my dearest aunt to her seat at ze ceremony?" Fleur asked, though it came with the inflection of an order. A grudging Maria was picked and escourted Muriel out.

Viktor cleared his throat. "I should head down as well, Fleur," he stated simply. The woman smiled at him and gave him a hug.

"Zank you, Viktor," she said, pulling away from the hug. She then leaned back in, whispering in his ear. "Zese girls would 'ave driven me to pull out my 'air without you."

"The pleasure is mine," Viktor declared, before bowing and exiting the room. Fleur's bridesmaids continued to swoon over him as they finished getting Fleur ready. She smiled at her reflection in the mirror.

The best day of her life had barely started, and she finally felt as though she were getting married. All thanks to the presence of her gruff, non-talkative friend from Romania.

**A/N Thanks for reading, don't know when I'll complete the next prompt but I'm off to a good start! Give me a review maybe? Check out my other stories while you're at it ;) **


	2. Bolt

The Disney Character Challenge from the Harry Potter Fanfiction Challenges Forum

This is a series of unrelated oneshots, based off various prompts that are determined by the name of the character involved. There will be at least 20 chapters to this, pretty exciting! Without further ado, the first of my stories! This one is based off the character of Bolt, a dog who believes he has superpowers, while the story is writing about a muggle marrying a wizard. Or, rather, a wizard marrying a muggle. Please excuse the OC, but it's not truly possible to find a canon muggle I actually like and the story more focusses on the wizard's feelings than the muggle's. Also, let me just say that I absolutely adored the concept for _Twist of Fate_, and while the format might be slightly confusing, as I start in the wedding hall, then shift to the past. Most of this is the thoughts and feelings of the Groom in the story.

Number Two: Twist of Fate

Looking around the large hall filled to the brim with his and her family and friends, the groom-to-be scratched his collar with nerves. He would never, in a million years, have imagined his wedding would be the muggle way. The man knew that, if his father were alive, he would be killed for even the thought of it. But when it came to Alicia, he knew he could never say no. If his bride-to-be wanted to do her wedding this way, it was all he could do not to jump through every hoop to make it perfect for her.

He supposed this was love. Putting someone else's needs before your own, wanting everything to be perfect for her despite the fact that most of his family refused to attend. The truth was, it didn't bother him if his purist family members didn't bother attending. Through all the nerves, he was content just knowing his mother, aunt, and cousin had attended on his side of the church.

'No,' thought Draco. 'This was most definitely not what I would have imagined myself doing after Hogwarts while I was there.' If there was one thing Draco loved, it was being able to predict an outcome. However, he never would have predicted Alicia. He remembered meeting the unpredictable woman like it was yesterday, when it had been 3 years in all reality.

The day they had met had to have been fate. There was no other way to describe it, because muggles were not supposed to think the Leaky Cauldron anything special enough to enter. Yet, this muggle woman had walked right in and plopped beside him at the bar. Draco had been drinking firewhiskey and trying to avoid any and all thoughts of his recently-deceased father. He had known that Lucius was not a kind or loving man, but nobody liked losing their father… Except maybe Voldemort, but everyone knew that dead man had been a nut job.

"Can I get a shot of your strongest, sir?" the little woman had asked Tom. Draco had glanced over, as not many people approached him, and was taken aback. The woman beside him was obviously not magical, but at that moment Draco hadn't cared about the Statute of Secrecy.

Tom brought over a shot of firewhiskey, which the woman downed. She then promptly gagged. Draco chuckled. The woman glared at him.

"It isn't polite to laugh at someone who has obviously had a hard day," she had reprimanded, before turning to the barkeep. "What even is that?"

"Firewhiskey, dear. Haven't you ever tried?" he replied. His inquiry brought a bright red blush to the girl's face.

"I guess I've never really had alcohol before, I'm just upset."

Draco set down his drink, resting his elbow on the bar and his head in his hand, facing her. "Upset enough to enter a derelict old bar for a drink of something you've never had before?" he asked. She blushed again. He couldn't help thinking that she was exceedingly cute when she was flushed. He had barely any alcohol in his system, yet he was taken by her. "Pretty bad, I take it?"

She scoffed. "Pretty bad doesn't even cut it. My mum got in a horrible car accident a few days ago. As of today, she will never walk again."

"At least she's still here," Draco mumbled, thinking of the man he was trying to forget. The woman just patted his shoulder.

"I suppose that's a good outlook. Did you lose your mum?"

"Dad, actually."

"I'm sorry to hear that… oh goodness, I don't even know your name and I've been asking all sorts of improper questions!" the woman blushed crimson.

"It's Draco," he said quietly. She cocked her head to the side. He groaned. "My parents named me Draco… er, my name is Draco."

"I'm Alicia."

"Well, Alicia, we can either stay in this derelict old bar or we can go get real food," Draco said, rather out of character but he put it down to the alcohol. He jumped down from his bar stool, placed a few sickles on the bar for their drinks, and offered her his arm. "What do you say I treat you to a real dinner? You can pick where you want to eat."

Smiling shyly, Alicia hopped down from her own stool and took his arm. "I know a good Thai food place a few blocks down…"

"Done! Lead the way!" This merited a real smile from Alicia. Draco immediately found he loved that smile, but put it down to the alcohol at the time. That was the first time he had went out with a woman who was not of his father's choosing, and also who was not a witch at all. It was the first of many times he went out with that woman. He found that he could talk for hours with her about everything and nothing at all. He bought a muggle cell phone, just to keep in touch with her even more.

At first, he couldn't understand what was happening to him. He was willingly giving his time to a muggle, a thought that his father would most definitely not hear about if he was alive. His hatred of muggles had been gone the day he met her, the day he tried their strange foods, the day his eyes were opened to the fact that they were people, just like any wizard or witch he knew.

He knew he was attracted to her, but didn't realise he loved her until slightly later. He could pinpoint the exact time. It had been when he told her about being a wizard, and she hadn't run away. Draco had expected Alicia to run away screaming, but she had remained where she was. Sitting on the couch of her apartment beside Draco, head nestled in the crook of his neck, she simply smiled.

"I knew there must have been a reason you seemed like a regular at that bar filled with strange people who were using sticks to move a spoon and stir their coffee," she had spoken with a smile. "So magic is really real?" He had nodded, shocked by how well she had taken the news. "And seeing as nobody seems to know, I take it I can't tell anyone?" He shook his head, rendered speechless by the utter curiosity that had invaded her tone. "Alright, then to compensate you will tell me everything you can about this world you live in."

Draco loved the curiosity in her voice, the way her tone had brightened at her optimistic outlook on magic, the way her head had simply stayed in the crook of his neck. Right then, he knew he would never find a woman as incredibly understanding as her. So, he told her everything. And she understood, and she didn't run away, and he loved her for it. She made him feel like he wasn't some scum-of-the-earth Death Eater. She made him feel like he was _good._

And now, three years later, he knew that he wouldn't want to be anywhere else in that moment. Standing in front of the altar, he watched as her bridesmaids walked down the aisle, followed by the woman who might as well have had him under amortentia.

As Alicia floated down the aisle, Draco experienced tunnel vision for the first time. There was only her. When her father placed her hand on his, Draco realised how much he appreciated doing their wedding the muggle way. He loved knowing that her father was accepting him into his family. He loved that he trusted him with his daughter.

Draco hardly paid attention to the sermon, as he was not religious, but instead smiled down at his bride. When they said their vows, Draco meant every word. And when the minister said, "You may now kiss the bride," Draco did just that.

He knew he loved this woman. He loved her despite the fact that being with her ostracised him from most of his family. She was his family now. Given, he still had his mum, and Aunt 'Dromeda. Had he looked over, he would have seen the happy tears pouring from the two women's eyes while a grumpy faced, blue haired, 6-year-old Teddy sat between them.

"Auntie Cissy, why are you crying?" the boy asked.

Narcissa looked down at the boy, with a teary-eyed smile. "I'm just proud that my boy found someone to care for, and that he isn't his father like he used to think he was."

This was too profound for Teddy's mind, so he brushed it off and just thought about how he wanted the cake his Gran had promised him.

For the remainder of the night, Draco glued his hand into Alicia's, knowing that no amount of magic would ever be enough to pull it away. It didn't matter to him that he was a pureblood wizard. He didn't care that his family would never approve of his choice. He couldn't care less that she was a muggle, a thought that he never would have thought himself capable of. All Draco cared about was that he loved the woman he was now married to, and that he would never again find himself pulled toward the dark side of magic. He had too much light in his life to fall prey to the types of wizards his family typically aligned themselves with.


	3. Thomas O'Malley

The Disney Character Challenge from the Harry Potter Fanfiction Challenges Forum

This is a series of unrelated oneshots, based off various prompts that are determined by the name of the character involved. There will be at least 20 chapters to this, pretty exciting! Without further ado, the first of my stories! This one is based off the character of Thomas O'Malley, the Alley Cat. In his movie, he seduces the pants off a woman of higher standing than him. So here is a story about a sexy bad boy. Just let me say, though you may not like one of my characters I'm going to use him anyway in my interpretation of him. If you have issues or questions about this, please send me a question in my ask box on Tumblr, wolfmoonwrites . tumblr . com.

**THIS CHAPTER IS RATED T for mild language and hints at adult situations that remain behind closed doors.**

Number Three: Seducing Miss Vance

"I'm going to bet five galleons that Sirius has gotten into the pants of all the seventh year girls by now!" James bet Remus, who gave him a knowing smirk.

"I'll take you up on that bet, Prongs," said Remus. "Only because I can think of someone who would very likely never be alright with a guy like our dear Padfoot."

"There's no way!" said Peter, full of spirit. "No girl can resist Sirius!"

"Now that is where you're wrong, dear Wormy," came the voice of said fifth year, Sirius Black. He walked over to the where the other three marauders were seated in the common room. Peter's mouth fell open in shock, while James held his galleons protectively to his chest and Remus smirked knowingly again.

"Come on, Pads," urged James. "Every seventh year girl has been with you before and you know it."

"Wrong, dear Prongsy wongsy, for one Head Girl is surprisingly giving me no head whatsoever." James not-so-subtly placed five galleons in the hand of a triumphant Remus.

"But… but…" sputtered Peter. "You're Padfoot!"

"Good observation, Pete, but this is Emmeline Vance we're talking about," stated Remus, while James muttered beside him. "Miss Vance is as straight-laced as they come, hence the fact that she is our Head Girl this year."

"Said the prefect to the delinquent," countered Sirius. Remus didn't bat an eyelash.

"Yes, I the prefect say that there is no way that you would be able to get with Emmeline. In fact, seeing as I spend more time with her than you, I would even go so far as to say I had a better chance of doing so."

"Oh you are so on!" Sirius shouted. "If, in a week, one of us hasn't gotten into her pants, I will give Peter fifteen galleons. If I manage it, you'll give me fifteen galleons!"

"And if I happen to manage it?" Remus said, arms folded with an amused look on his face. He knew he wasn't going to participate, but found it amusing when Sirius got in these moods.

Sirius scrunched his face in thought. "Then I'll give you fifteen galleons?"

"Sounds fair to me," said Remus. He then grabbed James' arm. "James will be my wingman, and Peter will be yours." Sirius visibly paled, making James and Remus laugh. Peter just looked confused.

"Wingman?" the smallest boy asked.

"It means you get to talk me up to Emmeline, get her to give me the time of day…" Sirius explained with a gulp.

Peter jumped up with a giant smile! "You've got it! It'll be easy since she tutors me in Charms!" The other three marauders gave him quizzical looks. Pete blushed. "Um… since she's Head Girl and a Ravenclaw and all, Professor Flitwick made her tutor me so I wouldn't fail my OWLs next month…"

Sirius doubled over laughing, before sticking his hand out to Remus. "You have yourself a deal, mate. You'll see! The true seduction power of Sirius Orion Black!"

-.-.-.-.-.-

It took a lot to get Sirius discouraged, but on the fifth day of his allotted week, things were looking bleak. Sirius knew that Peter had been talking him up to Vance, and also knew that the smaller boy was doing very little good.

Emmeline Vance wasn't Head Girl for nothing. She effectively avoided answering any and all questions about Sirius, while also ignoring all of Peter's efforts. Sirius had to admit, she was harder to crack than he thought. However, Sirius knew that he had to be getting under her skin. Up until that point, he had been treating her differently, using different strategies to get into her brain. The king of bad boys tried being a gentleman to get to her. But he was getting bored and tired of that strategy.

At that point in time, Sirius made up his mind. He would treat this challenge as nothing other than one of his normal conquests. Of course, he didn't tell Peter this as he got up from the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall. He marched over to the Ravenclaw table and the Head Girl, leaving his wingman behind completely.

"Oi, Vance!" he said, more loudly than he probably should have. She turned in her chair and fixed him with a blank stare. Her friends, all of whom Sirius had been with, palmed evidently bet sickles into each other's hands. James and Remus silently made bets on their friend's rejection time back at the Gryffindor table. Peter just watched, sad that Sirius hadn't involved him at all.

"Black," she acknowledged. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Just thought we might have a chat about some new rules you're thinking of instigating," said Sirius casually. She was taken aback at his apparent curiosity at school rules. "Just need to know of anything new I need to break." Emmeline groaned internally.

"Well, there is a new rule I've been discussing with Mr Filch about the locking of broom cupboards after curfew. It goes into effect as a trial run right after tonight's dinner." Emmeline gauged his reaction. Sirius had broken into a devilish grin. The Head Girl's heart skipped a beat. She knew that her friends had all fallen to his sexy bad boy looks, but she thought she was better.

"Want to tell me more?" he asked, offering an arm like a gentleman asking her silently to walk with him. Her friends all masked giggles, exchanging more sickles.

The watching marauders stifled looks of shock, and awe in Peter's case, as Emmeline took his proffered arm. Emmeline had shocked herself at the gesture, and continued talking about the premise and procedure of locking the broom cupboards. Sirius didn't listen, as he led her out of the Great Hall. He only paused for a second to send a wink to the Gryffindor table. Peter flashed him a thumbs up.

Emmeline didn't think at all as Sirius Black appeared to be paying her his undivided attention as she babbled on about broom closets and activities done there after dark. She silently chided herself. Sirius Black already knew about the activities that were performed in broom closets across the castle. He had probably defiled at least half of them himself.

Despite her best efforts, she couldn't help but think how handsome Sirius was. The damn younger boy had gotten into her head, and she was damned if she didn't act on it. She was a month away from her NEWTs, hadn't had a boyfriend in her seven years at Hogwarts, and was literally the only virgin left in her graduating class. Lord only knew she needed to relieve some tension, so what other boy than the one whose skills were such that the rumours about him likely didn't do justice.

"So, I take it that a broom cupboard wouldn't be the best idea right now?" he said, a devilish smirk on his face that made him look incredibly sexy. She shook her head, driven to silence. "Then I have a better idea.

Impossibly confused, Emmeline simply followed him until they were on the seventh floor, in front of a large tapestry of a barmy old idiot. A door appeared a moment later, into which Sirius pulled her. She didn't have time to take in the surroundings or think about the impossible door before the door had closed behind her and his lips promptly crashed into hers.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Remus, James, and Peter, huddled under James' invisibility cloak. Remus shook his head as the three watched Sirius pull the Head Girl into the Room of Requirement with no protest from the older girl.

"I knew he could," stated Peter, feeling some sense of pride. He was, after all, Sirius' wingman.

"How though?" exclaimed James, awestruck. "Vance hasn't been with anyone in a relationship her entire Hogwarts career, much less been willing to be pulled into a random room by Sirius bloody Black!"

Remus just continued to shake his head. "The Head Girl… Sirius Black… Room of Requirement… sweet lord, I'm going to need a butterbeer," he muttered. "Or four…"

At that precise moment, they heard noises coming from the room. James gagged, before putting a silencing charm on the door. "I'm with you, Moony…" he agreed. Peter nodded his agreement as well. They made their way away from the room as quickly as possible, back through the portrait hole to the common room. The three were highly regretting having followed the two to find out the outcome ahead of time.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

A few hours later, Sirius made his way back to his dormitory, a smug grin on his face. He had the marauder's map with him and made extra careful to avoid anyone who may get in the way of his safe return. When he reached his dormitory, he realised how late it must have actually been, seeing as his friends were fast asleep. On his bed was a small pile of fifteen galleons. He smirked devilishly. Mission accomplished.


	4. Esmerelda

The Disney Character Challenge from the Harry Potter Fanfiction Challenges Forum

This is a series of unrelated oneshots, based off various prompts that are determined by the name of the character involved. There will be at least 20 chapters to this, pretty exciting! Without further ado, the first of my stories! This one is based off the character of Esmerelda, a tender hearted gypsy who is able to see the good in Quasimodo in the Hunchback of Notre Dame. I tried to embody her ability of looking below the surface with everyone's favourite lovesick puppy… er… stag and his much-more-intelligent-than-him friends. (yes, I mean the marauders [with Jily fluff])

Number four: Dig a Little Deeper

James Potter looked back and forth between the tie in his hand and the top bar of his four-poster, contemplating what type of knot he would need for a noose. This time, he was certain that she hated him. There was no doubt in his mind that she would never want to go out with him.

He had done nothing differently this time, yet she had seemed to blow up even more! First, she got all quiet and red in the face. Red with rage, James could tell. Then, she somehow managed to have her wand in her hand and had pointed it menacingly at his precious hair, before threatening to burn it all off if he ever asked her again. After that, he had said some things and she had gotten redder, until she kicked him in the privates and stalked off to her dormitory. On their scale of Lily-James-Fights, the marauders had ranked it a level 9, under only the Post-Snivellus-Incident of fifth year.

Of course, the fight was partly his own fault. Hadn't he learned that asking her out across the common room would never get him anything but a swift kick to the jewels? Obviously he hadn't, which was why he was currently contemplating suicide. As he began to attempt tying his tie into the noose, the door to the dormitory burst open with a bang.

If this hadn't been a normal occurrence, James surely would have jumped or had some reaction. However, because it happened on a daily basis, he simply continued tying. Sirius Black waltzed into the room and took the tie from his friend's hands, while Peter Pettigrew followed along like the loyal follower he was. The final member of the marauders, Remus Lupin, walked in shaking his head. Remus took James' shoulder and guided him to sit on the bed James had previously considered committing suicide-by-hanging on.

"Now, James," started Remus. "Haven't we had this discussion before? Hanging oneself is never the solution to our Lily troubles." James nodded blankly. Remus sighed.

"Prongs, quit getting your knickers in a twist over one bird," Sirius declared loudly, before throwing the tie back to his friend. Peter nodded in agreement.

"Would you stop interrupting my attempts to hang myself," James said in the monotone of one who has lost all hope. "She hates me, and I know it, so I am lost in a pit of despair."

Sirius snorted. "If you're despairing, you should be drinking it away in a bottle of firewhiskey! Not attempting half-arsed suicide!"

Remus glowered. "Do not condone the drinking of alcohol in his state, Sirius. Besides, the remains of your last party are hidden away to be disposed of off school grounds."

"You mean in the hidden compartment in the bottom of your trunk, protected by the password 'chocolate frogs' and hidden under your secret chocolate storage?" Peter asked, not nearly as innocent as he looked. Remus' mouth dropped open. "Because that's been gone for about two weeks, if you didn't notice."

"You… you…" Remus stammered, before turning on Sirius. "Black!"

Sirius made a face of indignation. "Me! Get into your high security compartment used for keeping chocolate and alcohol from me! Why, Moony!"

"Next Hogsmeade trip, you are paying for my Honeyduke's purchase," Remus glowered. Sirius paled. "All of it."

"But, Moony! You know that I'm broke!" Saying this, Sirius clapped a hand to his chest, causing a number of galleons to fall from his person at the sudden movement. Remus smirked.

Peter giggled. "Ooh, Padfoot, Moony got you there!" he said tauntingly.

James on the other hand, all but forgotten, had made his way to the bathroom. The others were alerted to this when they heard the toilet flushing repeatedly. "Dammit!" said Sirius. "Now he's attempting toilet bowl drowning!"

Remus and Sirius rushed to the bathroom, where they pulled a sodden-headed James Potter from the toilet. A struggling James Potter. An upset James Potter. A nonsensical James Potter.

"Leave me to die in peace!" he shouted, before having a piece of chocolate shoved in his mouth by Remus. That promptly shut him up.

Sighing, Remus pushed James to sitting on his bed, then sat across from him on his own bed. He was then joined by Peter and Sirius, sitting on either side.

"Cheer up, Prongsy!" said Sirius. "She almost said yes this time, I just know it!" At the mention of the cause of his misery, James fell back on his bed, groaning.

"Come on, Prongs, you know she can't resist you much longer!" encouraged Peter. This merited another groan from James.

"I actually agree with Sirius on this one, James," said Remus. James shot up, looking at the other boy in shock. "There are many things pointing to the positive."

"Moony, she turned red with rage this time!" James gesticulated. "She never gets that mad, but she did and now she hates me!"

Remus sighed again. This would be a long conversation. "She never turned red before, yes. I believe she was blushing though. She paused before her rejection, trying to get her blush under control."

Sirius sat smugly. "You heard the logical one, Prongsy. Lighten up!"

Peter nodded along in agreement. James would not believe them. "She paused to think of the perfect insult! I mean, how else would she have thought up 'hedgehog-headed dunderhead'?!"

Smacking his forehead, Sirius gave a barking laugh. "You think she needed to think on that one?"

"Yeah, really James, she's used that insult at least four times!" Peter said. James rolled his eyes.

"Pete, I'm fairly certain that the hedgehog is a new one…"

"But still, she likes you!"

"She stammered before she told you off!"

"I caught her doodling you initials on her potions homework!"

"Um, Peter, why were you looking at her potions homework?"

"I wasn't cheating!"

"Nobody said you were."

"Wait wait hold up, she likes me!?" yelled James, thoroughly confused by his friends' onslaught of words.

"Jamsie, dear, would you not shout?" Sirius said, sickly sweet. "The adults are trying to have an adult conversation. Now Peter, how did you get your hands on the brainiac's homework?"

"I just looked over her shoulder in the common room… nobody ever notices me…" Peter murmured.

"Just looking over her shoulder bollocks!"

"I was wondering how you managed that E on that assignment." Remus said calmly. "Now can we please redirect our attention to the actually topic at hand. In answer to your question, James, it appears that Lily may not be as indifferent to you as we have previously believed."

James began to stammer. "She… she might… like… me…. Doodle… my initials… her initials… Lily Potter… hehe…"

"Great going, Remus, you've talked him into a stupor!" shouted Sirius into Remus' ear.

"Must you always shout?" Remus said, rubbing his throbbing eardrum.

"Moony, my good man, I need only one volume."

"Gosh, Sirius, even I think you're loud…"

"What did you say Pettigrew!?"

"N-n-n-nothing!"

"Merlin, Sirius, we already have one marauder down for the count! Don't scare Peter so much, he might become mentally incapacitated."

"She… like… Mrs. Lily Potter… Mr. James Evans… hehe… doodles…"

"I'm sorry Sirius!"

"Peter, don't apologize to that ignorant twat!"

"I will have you know that I am no twat, and that if I was, I would be the king of all twats and you would have to bow to me!"

"That's so cool!"

"I can hear bells, Moony!"

"I am surrounded by lunatics…"

"And yet you love us, Moony dear."

The boys then heard a sharp knock at the door. Remus went and opened it to the most unlikely face at the moment. Sirius, looking over and seeing who was in the door, quickly threw a blanket over the head of the still-stupefied James.

"Lily, what a lovely surprise," Remus said, his surprise evident in his voice. Lily fidgeted in the doorway.

"Um… is Ja-er, Potter here?" she asked. At the sound of his name, James seemed to wake from his state. Jumping from his seat, he practically ran to the door and leaned against the frame. Belatedly, he remembered that she was supposed to be mad at him, despite what his friends said.

"Hello there, Lily," he said simply, his voice halfway between happiness and fear for his boys. Either he was hallucinating, or she blushed at his use of her first name. "What brings you over here?"

"You mean aside from you twats being loud and obnoxious to the point where we can hear you in the common room?" James raised an eyebrow and she sighed. "Sirius has declared himself king of all twats." Remus gave an amused snort, as behind them Sirius' eyes grew wide at her admission of his kingliness.

"Yes, other than my friend, the king of twats," stated James with a slight grin. He was just glad that she hadn't heard his incoherent babbling.

"Well… I wanted to say I was sorry for threatening to burn off your hair if you asked again. I realize that for whatever reason you do it compulsively, be it your sadistic want to be rejected or something else." She blushed again, not truly sure why she was making herself apologize.

"Ah… about that," said James. "I should probably apologize for embarrassing you and asking you out across the common room…" Remus coughed without subtlety. "Repeatedly…" cringed James.

To everyone's surprise, Lily cracked a small smile. "Like I said, your sadistic want to be rejected makes you do it, so don't worry." She turned to walk away, and was surprised by his grabbing of her hand.

"Every time I ask, I mean it," he said without thinking. Then he realized what he said and did and prepared himself for a kick in the boys. No one was more surprised than him when it never came.

"Whatever you say… James." Lily pulled her hand from his, face bright red, and sped down the stairs, then up to her own dormitory.

James stood in the doorway for another minute before being pulled into the dormitory by Remus. "She called me… James…" Realizing that it was real, he let out a victory cheer. "She called me James! She actually likes me! Yes!"

"Victory screech!" yelled Peter, before Sirius clamped a hand over his mouth.

"No no, there will be none of that."

"Who would have guessed that our speculation would actually be correct," stated Remus. Sirius nodded along, while Peter mumbled something along the lines of "I knew it all along" from under Sirius' hand.

"Everything's coming up James!" yelled James, before passing out on his bed from the overwhelming shock of everything. The other marauders chuckled, as Peter covered James with his blankets.

"Moony, I was just saying that stuff to get James to snap out of it…"

"Padfoot, you were not just saying stuff. You somehow managed to think like me for once in your life." Sirius looked at Remus, utterly confused. Remus sighed. "You managed to look below the surface of the situation, without even realizing it."

Peter chose that moment to break out in some American jazz song. "Gotta dig a little deeper! Be-" Sirius again clamped a hand over the other boy's mouth.

"No no, Wormtail. No no."


	5. Merlin

Number five: Pyromania

"So, Mr. Finnigan, it appears you are my slave once again."

"Yer right there, Filchy my mate," replied the Irish fifth year. "You should be used to my being here again at this point."

"Ruddy boy… Tonight you're scrubbing all the cauldrons in the potions classroom, per the request of Professor Snape."

"Sounds like a joyful time, dunnit mate?" Seamus addressed the other fifth year beside him.

"You just had to pull me into your explosive tendencies," Dean Thomas grumbled. "The one time I go along with you…"

"You really should know better at this point," Seamus grinned at his best friend.

"Just get cleaning and try not to blow a hole in the ceiling. Wands." Filch held his hand out for the boys' wands. "Can't have you blowing anything up with these. Knowing Mr. Finnigan…"

Dean grudgingly handed over his wand, while Seamus continued teasing Filch with his. "Now, Filchy, are you sure about that? I just learned a great new cleaning spell."

Filch snatched the wand from his hand. "I believe that we should avoid whatever disaster comes of that," he said with a scowl. "You will finish this work and then you will return to your dormitory. I will be checking in and inspecting. Expect to come back tomorrow if every cauldron isn't spotless."

"Yeah yeah, we know," said Seamus, fiddling with a book of matches in his pocket. "And every day after that."

With another scowl at the two, he threw cleaning rags at both and walked out with his distinctive gait. Once he was out of the classroom, Dean smacked Seamus upside the head.

"Oi!" he exclaimed. "What was that for?"

"You just had to blow up a WHOLE BOX of Filibuster's Fireworks in the middle of the entrance hall IN FRONT OF FILCH!" Dean shouted, completely exasperated. Seamus looked at his feet with a smirk.

"Yeah, we really should have picked a better location," he claimed. Then, to Dean's dismay, Seamus lit a match and dropped it into the dirty cauldron in front of him. The contents promptly caught fire. Seamus grinned at it.

"Or, we could have done so outdoors," Dean grumbled, picking up his cloth and bucket. He then began to scrub. "Start cleaning or we'll be here all night, pyro."

"I know what I'm doing, Dean," Seamus claimed. "First you burn away the contents, then you wipe away the ash… shit…" The fire had burned out and Seamus was leaning inside.

"What did you do this time?" Dean asked his pyro best friend, pausing in his scrubbing.

"Well… I may have miscalculated…"

"At least whatever you did didn't blow up," grumbled Dean. Seamus threw a wet rag at him. "I'm not kidding! But what did you do this time exactly?"

"Well, I may have just burned the contents of this cauldron to be charred to the inner sides of the cauldron…"

Dean got up and walked over, sticking his head over the cauldron as well. "You, mate, are incredibly stupid."

"My plan was sound!"

"You had no idea the contents of this cauldron before you lit it on fire."

"I thought it would be the easiest way to clean away this first year grime!"

"You are competent enough in potions to know that we never put direct heat on unknown potions. Are you or are you not an OWL student?"

"You're just mad that you helped me carry in the box of fireworks!"

"My own mistake. Had I known what was in the box, or that you had a muggle LIGHTER in your pocket, I would never have agreed."

"But you love fireworks!"

"You pyromaniac, you're the one who loves anything to do with explosions or flames."

"Well… you… you… you like Ginny Weasley!"

"Your point? See, my liking Ginny has never caused potion to be charred to the side of a cauldron."

"Erm… alright, you have a point. I may have screwed up royally here… But hey! At least it looks like it's clean!"

Dean smacked his palm to his face. "You have to clean it still, Seamus."

"Damn." The grin that had taken over Seamus' face at the sight of fire dissolved. "I hate when Filch assigns cleaning jobs." He lit another match.

"Oh hell no," Dean said with exasperation, taking the match and blowing it out. He then held out his hand. "Give me the matchbook."

Seamus shook his head vigorously from side to side. Dean glared. "But… my matches…"

"I'll give them back," said Dean. Seamus grudgingly handed them over. Dean smirked, then dropped them into his bucket of cleaning water.

"You… you just… DEAN!" Seamus said, surprised.

"I never said they wouldn't be drenched beyond proper use," Dean told his friend, who was now plunging his hand into the water to grab his sinking matches. "Now get to work so we can get back to the Quidditch party quickly."

Nodding dejectedly, Seamus began to scrub the abused cauldron. "My matches…" he grumbled under his breath. "And that was my last book…"

Dean let out a breath of air. "How did I get myself involved with this pyromaniac?" he thought to himself.

"I didn't ask to love flames, Dean," Seamus said into the dim room. The sound of scrubbing could be heard throughout the room.

"I know, Shay," Dean sighed. "Just try to get it under control?"

"I promise you that I will not intentionally blow anything up again, unless it is a direct order from a higher up."

"Higher up?" Dean raised an eyebrow.

"I mean a prefect or a professor, dimwit," Seamus snapped. Dean laughed.

"I'm the dimwit says the one who lit his cauldron aflame to clean it?"

"Shut up."

"Stop yer yammering," came a bark from the doorway. The boys gulped, though they were cleaning as they were supposed to be.

"Sorry Filch," said Dean. Seamus plastered a grin on his face.

"But Filchy, we were just talking about you and what a wonderful job you do around the castle, keeping it clean and such."

"Yeah yeah, get working Finnigan."

"Yes, sir!"

"Is that a matchbook in the bottom of your bucket, boy?"

"No, sir," Dean said, angling his body to hide the bucket's contents. "That would just be quirky. Who carries around a matchbook anyway? Far too quirky, if you ask me. Nothing quirky here, nothing at all…"

Filch grumbled but luckily dropped it. "Get to work." He missed Seamus hitting Dean upside the head, mouthing "I am not quirky!"


End file.
